Fiona Apple
Caris/Carey/Whatever was one of my favorites going into this cycle because she closely resembles one of my favorite female artists in all of existence and I am adamant to this day that she actually stood a chance of winning if not for one "Sliding Doors"-esque moment right at the start of Cycle 4.
Standing side by side we had Caris and Demelza, both having been referred to by the sharp-tongued Ms Charlotte Dawson (RIP girl) as "jelly bottles", which, let's be clear, was
such a producer-fed line intended to cause DRAMAZZZ because, lol, look at this "jelly bottle"..
Demelza sucked up the criticism, did her thing, and went on to win the fucking cycle right out from under everyone's nose and it occurred to me that they "jelly bottles" comment may have been an attempt to foreshadow a F2 of Caris and Demelza except Caris didn't quite handle it in the same way Demelza did.
Caris cried.
Caris crying would go on to be a sub-plot for the remainder of the cycle.... Caris cries when Ian Thorpe says mean things about her (nasty queen he is), Caris cries when they dye her hair the SAME COLOUR it was when she was a child, Caris cries when doing at the harness photoshoot, Caris cries impersonating Alexander McQueen, Caris cries and has body issues and yet she turns out stunning photo after stunning photo and we were all wondering "Are we getting the Gemma edit here??" (Bonus points if you get that reference).
But, then we would hit the model roadblock called the "media challenge" where some magazine writer for, like, Women's Day or something, destroys Caris with her "Caris Who" slam and Caris was sent packing at the F4 (SPOILER: she probably cried, cbf confiming).
Like I said though, her "jelly bottle" friend would go on to take the cycle's crown so who knows what Caris could have done if she'd just stopped crying for long enough???
AWWWWWWWW YEAH BITCHES - MEGAPOST!! Bet none of y'all saw THIS coming, right?? Just when you guys are all comfortable in these little conventions we've set up BAM!! Along comes trojan mixing it up, keeping it fresh and challenging the very constructs he himself creates. BOOM.
So, enough about me...This one's a bummer... Ideally I think Hazel should have definitely gotten through at least this cycle as she is legitimately out there working her damn ass off around the world, earning bank and taking some damn fine photos along the way...
Like Caris/Carey (what is it with all of these "nicknames" by the way?), Hazel should've been considered a bit more of a legit contender for her cycle's crown (unlike Caris though I do not think Hazel stood a chance of defeating Montana like, lol, she was fixed from the start and everything else was a formality). Hazel's main issue as far as I could tell was that she has that classic thing a lot of teenage girls struggle with where they seem as phoney as fuck no matter what they are doing or saying..
She's also one of those "one of the boys" girls but can then also transform into fairly edge commercial teen stuff as well so she has a pretty wild portfolio of work.
I dunno, like, I actually quite liked Hazel and I'm struggling to think of a decent reason why she deserves to be cut other than "death marched out by being nominated against Cassi" but it would appear like that is the only real legit reason I am cutting her so, sorry Hazel, you deserved better, blame Ralph for this one guys.
Numbers Chosen:
Numbers Eliminated:
Numbers Saved:
I can smell a finale right around the corner! We're hitting the home stretch but first someone need to give PDC a couple of new noms... I think this is her LAST CUT of the cycle???[/center]