by TheOneSurvivor » Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:39:12 pm
18. Marcus Lehman (10th Place/1st Juror)-
Marcus is just that typical pretty, athletic, white guy who thinks he's the greatest person on this planet. He was arrogant, annoying, thought he was the King of Gabon, and seeing him get his ass owned was the highlight of the season.
17. Charlie Herschel (9th Place/2nd Juror)-
Charlie was nothing but a spineless little coward who did nothing but latch onto Corinne and suck Marcus's dick the whole game. He was never his own person, following in the footsteps of others and it was just unbearable to watch.
16. Corinne Kaplan (7th Place/4th Juror)-
Corinne was nothing but a try-hard who wanted to be the next aggro bitch, and it was clear from her first confessional her bitchiness was nothing but a bunch of fake bullshit to get airtime.
15. Matty Whitmore (4th Place/7th Juror)-
A vile asshole who thought he was a better player than everyone else when all he did was ride coattails. And the fact that he was going to win had he made the F3 disgusts me. Such a hypocrite.
14. Jacquie Berg (15th Place)-
Truth be told, I don't hate Jacquie, I just didn't think she made any sort of impact in the season which is why she winds up here. Being a member of the Onions alliance did not help her standards either.
13. Michelle Chase (18th Place)-
Michelle was just a complete grouch in her one episode, bitching about a bunch of things, and it was really annoying.
12. Paloma Soto-Castillo (16th Place)
Irrelevant to the season, although her calling out Ace at her boot TC bumps her up a spot because it was entertaining nonetheless.
11. Dan Kay (11th Place)
Ultimately, Dan was just a nice, looking guy. He didn't bring much to the season, although I found his storyline to be rather interesting.
10. Gillian Larson (17th Place)
Gillian was a fun, loony old lady. However, she just didn't last long enough for me, because when she left I didn't know she was fun or just plain annoying.
9. Kelly Czarnecki (13th Place)
She had some hilariously dumb moments, like legitimately believing GC was eaten by a monkey, but there was nothing really unique about her as a character and she didn't stand out.
8. GC Brown (14th Place)
GC was an interesting character who really brought enjoyment this season. He was originally leader of Fang, until it showed that he wasn't good as a leader and stepped down from the role, and it showed him to really be an incompetent fail. He soon then lost his mind and hit rock bottom, and when confronted about not eating his rice (icon_lol) he literally just went into the canoe and paddled away, just not giving a shit about the game anymore. Most people saw him as a drag, but like I said, he was a great character who had a lulzy storyline and is a good reason as to why this season is so excellent.
7. Susie Smith (Runner-Up)
Susie was a fun hag, who got a terrible edit considering how close she was to winning. Like, they never gave her depth. Like we never understood why Susie was very annoying to the Onions cause they never showed that side to her, or any strategic side to her. But she gets major points for slaying Marcus.
6. Ken Hoang (5th Place/6th Juror)
I really love Kenny, and he is the original Survivor Nerd, before Stephen & Cochran showed up on the scene. He is an extremely underrated player, and he deserves to be named up there with the best. His barnacle gameplay and complex strategic moves deserve to be noted, and it makes me angry that he isn't considered to be one of Survivor's best masterminds.
5. Ace Gordon (12th Place)
Not only was Ace an amazing villain, but he was also a very unique villain. He never did anything terrible in the game, but there was just presence about him that screamed "Villain!" Like his first confessional was so smug, all about how he grew up traveling the world and lived a luxurious lifestyle. Add that to his douchey british accent and you can tell this guy was an arrogant prick. He just had this demeanor about him that made the things he did worse than they actually were.
4. Bob Crowley (Winner)
How can you not love Bob? He was a nice, funny, smart and interesting guy who became a rootable underdog and created fake idols and wore his buff as a bow tie. It was nice to see someone go on the show and care more about the survival aspect than the strategy aspect. You rarely see that nowadays.
3. Sugar Kiper (3rd Place)
Sugar was the season sweetheart, and she was a player who cared more about making it far and give us viewers entertainment then winning, and that's what I really loved about her unique aspect in this season. All she wanted to do was get rid of the evil in the game and that it is what she did. Whether it was flipping on Ace, taunting Randy, flipping on Ken/Crystal or even force a tie-breaker at the F4, Sugar always found a way to make great television.
2. Randy Bailey (8th Place/3rd Juror)
Randy was a negative character almost the entire season, who was easily the best narrator of the season. He bitched people out and bullied them to their faces, and he was funny in doing so. He's literally the real life version of the Grinch, and he's just that one old guy you would expect to yell at children to get off his lawn. He was just an all around complete dick and it was fun to watch. While he's not the most villainous person to appear on this show, he is without a doubt the most evil person to ever appear on the show. There is a difference.
1. Crystal Cox (6th Place/5th Juror)
Crystal is easily the best sassy black woman to ever appear on this show. She delivered some of the greatest quotes this show has ever seen, was a fucking boss ass bitch, and was a goddamn giant, hence the nickname Massive Crystal. On top of that, she had one of the funniest storylines Survivor has ever seen, being an Olympic Gold Medalist and somehow being one of the worst challenge performers in Survivor History. Crystal was just all around fun, and you can always count on her to deliver.
Alright, let's do a Big Brother season this time. Has to be either the Canadian or US Version.